Facebook is Killing My Soul!

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Is Facebook and Social Media Killing Our Souls?

photo(13)Recently I was asked by a friend, “why haven’t I seen you on Facebook lately?”  A very good question considering that I would have typically posted 1-2 times a day, plus tweeted 2-3 times a day, Google +’d and posted for my various businesses or causes another 3-4 times a day.

You see, I was beginning to have a little bit of a problem.  So much of a problem that one day at home my 7 year old son asked me with all sincerity, “Dad, are cell phones really important?” Caught red handed!  My heart sunk – I felt not only an instant guilt but shame and regret along with gratitude for my son to be that honest with me.  He didn’t know it but God was using him to get through to me.

I immediately set my phone down and said, “Wow, I am so sorry that I have let you think that.  No son, they are not important… you are important.”

What I had no idea was that I was killing my own soul and I was settling for less than God’s best for me and my relationships at home.  Honestly, who gives a crap about what some stupid politician or sports star said?  Or, (sorry for the candor) about how you are feeling today through some idiotic e-card.  Why in the world would I care more about pictures of everyone else’ kids, meanwhile my kids are in the same room as me and I am completely disconnected with them? Or why would I “Like” pictures of your family vacation while my kids sit in the other room watching TV?

I have a problem and I think many of us share in this dangerous “hobby.”  Facebook and social media in general are slowly killing our souls!

Really, Facebook and other social media outlets provide us a sort of personal Public Relations machine that allows us to spin or fool everyone (including ourselves) into thinking we have value.  It is that place where we can let the whole world know stuff about us that may or may not be true at all, so we can feel ok with ourselves.  If I looked simply at the lives of friends on Facebook I might be tempted to believe that everyone is extremely happy, living perfect lives or on the other hand completely miserable.  Wherever the truth may be – if I really cared I would pick up the phone and spend time with them.

The reality is that most of our posts are subtle cries for help and connectedness.  We long to be connected to people in a real, loving and unconditional way and yet we settle for this false connection over what is offered to us through our loved ones and most important through God.

Social Media is not only killing my soul but the collective soul of our families, communities and nation.  We are teaching our children that this is what it means to be “connected.”  Our world doesn’t even realize there is so much more then what is seen and “experienced” online.  I don’t have enough time to mention the wasted time & loss of production at work and social good that could be accomplished.

Now, social media is not all bad.  Frankly I do like being alerted about birthdays and special events.  And I do like being able to “check in” on people I used to be close to.  But sadly I am not really connected or close at all but I can lie to myself and say things like, “yeah, we stay connected.”  Have you ever ran into a Facebook friend in real life?  It’s kinda awkward isn’t it?  “Oh hey… how are you?  I noticed you have 3 kids now and work at…”  It’s like you know them but you don’t.  Maybe you even avoid the conversation at all because you know it will be uncomfortable.  We save those interactions for cyberspace – much more comfy there and less is required.

So I shared with my friend who had asked why I had not been around Facebook lately that I had felt like social media (not just Facebook) was killing my soul. I also shared with him that I felt compelled to make some small but significant changes.  Here is what I decided for myself.  I am not advocating these changes for you, simply giving you food for thought for those who feel like me.

If you feel your soul slowly dying and want more for your relationships then here is what I would suggest…

1st: Remove Facebook and Twitter from your phone.  This has helped me stay present with my kids and my wife and to avoid the constant checking my phone for what is “happening.”  If you want to experience real life… check in with what is happening right in front of you.  What I found is that the less I checked and obsessed that I haven’t missed anything of real value.  Compare this to the countless hours of missed opportunities with people who know, love and long to have my full attention.

2nd: Limit your exposure.  I try to “check in” once a day to make sure I haven’t missed something important.  However, try to even take a day or two off and see how you feel.  Like I said, it’s not all bad, but healthy limits are necessary for all relationships and this is no different.  People don’t need to know that much about your life and you really don’t need to know everything about everyone else’ life.  This also helps with feelings of competition or comparison.  What we are doing to our souls is the equivalent of women who look at magazines full of perfectly airbrushed women with perfect bodies, hair and teeth. We watch our friends and wonder, “Why isn’t my life as good as theirs?”  Trust me, what you see is not real whether in a magazine or on Facebook – sorry to break the bad news!

*Now if you find compulsive and destructive behavior surrounding your use of social media, then it may be necessary to treat it as an addiction and just remove it from your life completely and get the necessary help to find recovery.

3rd: Replace the counterfeit with the real thing!  There is no substitute for the real thing.   Honest, loving, fun interaction with those you love the most will never leave your soul feeling empty.  If you simply remove social media from your life but do not replace it with loving and real relationships then you may still feel an emptiness which may lead you to look for other destructive vices to cope with life. If I might suggest a first step it would be to invest in a relationship with God.  There is NO substitute for the loving grace of God to make our other relationships even more healthy, strong and satisfying.

So what do you think?  Has Facebook and other forms of social media killed your soul?  Do you feel more or less connected having used Facebook?  Now, if you are really courageous, ask your spouse or closest relationships if they feel like you are distracted and disconnected because of social media?

I would love to hear from you. Leave a comment and let’s “connect”… just not while other more important relationships need attention.  ;-)

Good Friday Reflections: The Greatest Joy Comes After the Greatest Sorrow

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 Experiencing Joy After Sorrow

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Our Greatest Joy comes after Sorrow!

As I sit here alone in my home (mom and 3 kids out on an adventure), I have a few moments to reflect on this day and it’s impact on my life.  Two passages of scripture capture my thoughts on this Good Friday (the day we set aside to remember the death of Jesus).  The first is found in Matthew 26:38-39 and the second is Hebrews 12:2-3.  My hope is that by remembering Jesus today you will be encouraged and strengthened for the incredible joys that God has prepared for you.

2 Good Friday Reflections

Matthew 26:38-39 38 Then he said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me.” 39 And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.”

  • Jesus shares his sorrow with close friends: During a time of prayer, Jesus shares with 3 of his close friends that his soul is in deep sorrow… sorrow so painful that he feels like this sorrow alone could kill him.  It is a vital part of the grieving process to share our hurts and pains with those whom we love and are close to.
  • Jesus prays: We cannot miss this point.  The God of the universe shares his pain and sorrow with his heavenly Father.  Obviously, The Father knows his heart and what he is going through and what he will be experiencing on the cross and yet Jesus still shares his heart with the Father through prayer.  Finally and most importantly is Jesus’ words in his prayer.  (1) He asks God to take away this sorrow and the looming pain to come and (2) He lets his Father know that despite the outcome {whether he is spared from this pain or not}, he will trust Him.  It is extremely important for us to remember, as Jesus did, that it is ok to ask him to remove the pain and sorrow and yet to affirm your trust in Him for what is best {“not as I will, but as you will}.

Hebrews 12:2-3  2 looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.

  • Keep the end in mind: God has set a perfect plan in place for your life and mine.  How do I know that?  It’s simple, look at the life and example of Jesus.  God is the author and perfect of our faith.  He is causing all of the sorrow and pain to work on us and perfect us in his image – to make us complete.  So, we keep the end in mind as we endure our circumstances.  Jesus was not just focused on the cross, but as well on what the cross would afford you and me.  He saw the joy set before him in the form of the resurrection… our forgiveness of sin… our redemption… our reconciliation with the Father, just to name a few.  Keep the end in mind!
  • Remember Jesus: We are encouraged in this passage to not only keep the end in mind but to keep our eyes on Jesus and to remember what he endured for us so that we do not lose heart and give up.  We all fail. Even the disciples bailed on Jesus once he was dead.  They were scared, fearful, lost heart.  We allow days like today to be a reminder of who Jesus is and what he did for us so we could know God more fully.  If you feel fainthearted or without hope today… remember and look to Jesus. 

We cannot and will not embrace the joy of the resurrection without feeling and experiencing the pain and sorrow of the crucifixion.  If I simply experience joy after joy, that joy is diminished – it loses it’s power and impact to transform my life and my circumstances.  However, if in the midst of my greatest pain and sorrow I find joy, how much sweeter is that joy?

We must never forget we serve a God who experienced great sorrow.  Remember your greatest joy will come after your greatest sorrow. Share your sorrow with loved ones… invest time in prayer with God and then wait for the joy to come!   Allow today, Good Friday, to serve as a reminder that God loves you and that through fixing our eyes on him we will one day share in the greatest joy of all – perfect and eternal union with Jesus!

Stress Eating is Eating Me!

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Too Much On My “Plate” = Too Much On My Plate!

photo-2True confession… I am stress eater and I need help!  I don’t know how else to say it but I have found that the busier I get the more I eat and the more weight I put on and subsequently the less and less happy I become.

I have always been that way.  I can remember being a little kid and using food to deal with life’s challenges and problems. My drug of choice back then was ice cream and pickles (I know, a little strange but I loved me some pickles).  Food just seemed to provide a sort of comfort, all be it short lived and temporary – it always made me feel better in the moment. These days I still have a sweet tooth but I am happy to say I have been off the pickles (clean and sober ) for 20 years.

I guess in some respects I am fortunate that I didn’t use some other, more destructive, vice to comfort me but in many ways I think food might be even worse (a little bit of a reach, sorry).  Over-eating is much more socially acceptable than shooting heroin but both are destructive and screw with your mind long term.  At least a drug addict isn’t encouraged by friends and family to keep consuming, as is the case with many families and food.

I wish the answer was easy like… just stop eating, being busy or working but then our family might have the opposite problem (not enough to eat).  What I am attempting to learn, which seems to me much healthier, is that when I feel stressed and begin to over eat I need to do 2 things…

  • STOP and consider.  Ask myself, “why am I eating this?”  What am I avoiding or not dealing with and consider how I might deal with the situation in a more positive way.   This also involves creating healthier habits with food.  Like, not having my favorite foods around in times of stress.  I have known some coworkers that keep a secret stash of chocolate at the office for just these types of stressful occasions.  Dangerous stuff!  However, it’s not just enough to attempt to never be around trigger foods, like an alcoholic never stepping foot in a bar.  If you are a stress eater like me you can’t stop being around food.  Shoot, I can stress eat on healthy foods too.  I have to work toward a life of self discovery and surrender my hurts, habits and stresses to God daily.
  • Redirect my stress.  This has always been a challenge for me.  I want learn to redirect my stresses to God and ask Him to provide relief and help in my time of need.  On a less spiritual note, exercise or a great hobby can be a great redirecting answer to over eating.  Whatever we chose to redirect our stress to needs to be a healthy alternative.  For example, if I learned to redirect my stress away from food but started to smoke cigarettes or drink alcohol then there would be a similar net loss to my overall well being.  I would encourage identifying 2-3 things you can redirect toward and then be ready when the stresses of life come.  Make them fun and realistic.  If going to the beach helps me redirect but the beach is 3 hours away, then that isn’t really helpful.  It has to be something we can easily do in our moments of stress.

Are you a stress eater?  What ways do you deal or handle your stress eating?  Leave a comment or send me a direct message.

How To Overcome Over Capacity

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DecisionsOvercoming Over Capacity

These days I quite often feel overwhelmed and stressed.  Maybe it’s the 3 kids or the 3 different jobs – who knows?  What I do know is that I was created by God and mostly likely God is the only one who knows the full extent of my capacity to handle life’s many stresses.  So, I had the thought… what would I say to someone who felt overwhelmed with life, work, relationships etc?  Then I would have some good ideas for helping myself figure out what to do when I feel over capacity.  Brilliant ;-)

For the purposes of this discussion, “capacity” may be understood as… the greatest possible amount of something.  So to be “over” capacity is to have too much of something which could result in a negative outcome.  This concept also involves the law of diminishing returns, which simply means that the more you add one aspect of production, while holding all others the same, will at some point produce a lower rate of return.  Or in very simple terms, too much of a good thing isn’t always a good thing or produce a better outcome.

The best example of this idea has always been eating pizza.  The first slice is awesome, the second is equally great, however the 6th or 7th piece… well, you know the rest.  Even good things have their limits.

So what is capacity?  In all the pages of God’s word, this word capacity, is not mentioned one time and yet it is a concept that we are very familiar with in our present day culture.

The real question that has to be answered by us Christians is, “What is God’s capacity?”

The reason why the bible says, “God will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we can handle” is that to be overly tempted leads to sin and the abundance of sin produces death, something of which we mere humans cannot withstand.  However, there is no condition or circumstance(s) under which God is over capacity.  Not even the cross was more then God could handle!

To be over capacity is a bit of an oxymoron for people of faith.  The fundamental purpose of faith is to trust in what is beyond sight and our capacity to handle or control.  Does this mean we take on more and more and just pray that God takes care of the rest?  Not at all, in fact it might just mean the opposite.  We take on less and less, realizing that what we need in life is not satisfied by achieving or striving for more.

The only way personal capacity is increased is through faith.  Adding more to an already overwhelmed life/person does not produce more or better fruit.  What is does produce is less effectiveness and creates bondage to whatever it is you have allow to over burden you.  So, what can we do about it?

Here are 3 things that I have to revisit time and time again in my life.  I have to remind myself and sometimes remind others that there is only so much I can or will handle before I become less of the person I’m called to be.

3 Keys to Overcoming Over-Capacity

1. Let Go!

  • Let go of your need to perform and please people through what you do and what you achieve.
  • Let go of unnecessary commitments.  This involves letting go of control, trusting others and God. Accepting that you possess finite resources of time, energy, passion and knowledge/expertise.

2. Accept Help!

  • Accept the fact that God wants to be your source of strength and that He will produce fruit in your life according to His plan and purpose.
  • Accept the fact that others can and may do a better job at whatever it is you have been doing. Or, accept that you may not even be good at what you are doing and your investment of time will never payoff in the ways that you expect.

3. Narrow Your Focus!

  •  Yes, saying “no” to one thing does mean you can say “yes” to something else.  However, make sure that something else is not just another wrong or harmful thing.  I can’t tell you how many times in business I have said “no” to something on the basis of principle and then turn right around and say, “yes” to something very similar.  We have to be very convinced in our minds to stick with what matters most and that which we have given greatest priority.
  • It is better to be great at one thing then mediocre at 5.

Well, there you have it.  My attempt to help myself overcome over capacity.  Now I will just have to write a post about listening to yourself.

How do you deal with stress and over capacity? I would love to hear from you.

“Who do you love? Me or the thought of me?” My Encouragement to Young Pastors

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To Young Pastors and Ministry Hopefuls

“Who do you love? Me or the thought of me?”  -John Mayer

Recently I sat at a Starbucks working on the many crazy jobs and projects I’m known to have when John Mayer shuffled through my itunes.  Oddly enough the line that caught my attention was, “Who do you love? Me or the thought of me?”  It made me think of pastoral ministry and my 15+ years of working in/with churches.

I wondered to myself, “do I really love working in the organized church, or do I just love the thought of it?”  If you have never worked at or for a church it may be hard for me to explain.  Maybe it’s like seeing a really beautiful woman and thinking, “Wow, I would like to date her!”  Only to find out that she is really stupid, uninteresting and even difficult to be around.  Not to say that the church is stupid, uninteresting or difficult (ok, maybe a little difficult sometimes), but to say that what you see is not always what you get.

I can remember being a young 18 year old kid who loved God deeply & who wanted nothing more then to serve and work in the local church for the rest of my life.  If I could sit that kid, or someone like him, down today I would share a few things with him.

  1. Accept and embrace the mess:  As much as we would love to think that the Church (local and global) is a healthy, highly functional group of kind, compassionate people, you will quickly learn otherwise.  The family of God is more often a mess spiritually and emotionally and can easily more resemble a family you might see on Jerry Springer then a pillar of health.  This is precisely why Jesus had to come and die… for us imperfect, messed up people.  You will see and hear things you would never have imagined… you will need to learn to love an imperfect bride, just as Jesus has and does.  The real key is to expect and embrace the mess without compromising yourself and God’s ultimate desire to make us holy and without blemish, like Him.
  2. Don’t get tunnel vision:  What I mean is this… never mistake your “calling” with a job!  You have been called to ministry; not a job or a position.  Just because your office door says, “pastor…” doesn’t make you a pastor.  God, your calling and your spiritual gifting have allowed you the privilege of shepherding people, not a title and a paycheck.  Don’t make the mistakes I have and assume that the only thing you can and will do is be a pastor on staff at a church.  You were called into relationship with God and God will do with you and your career as He sees fit.  Frankly God cares much more about the condition of your heart then he does your production on a church staff – don’t compromise!
  3. Protect your heart and your family:  This lesson I have learned the hard way unfortunately.  Far too many times early on in my ministry experience I sacrificed good for best and one relationship for another.  Pastoral leadership is seductive.  People “need” you, they think you know something that others don’t.  The reality is that we are as lost and flawed, if not more, as anyone else. The people who know you are flawed are your family and they love you anyway.  The problem comes when you we “sacrifice” for others in the name of God when really we are just sacrificing our relationships with our family.  Protect your family relationships at all costs! They will be there for you and with you when your “job” goes away or when you are no longer needed at your church.

The questions God may be asking are… “Do you love me (Jesus) or the thought of me?”  “Do you love ministry or do you love me?”  Ultimately that is the most important question for anyone considering the vocation of ministry.  We must never confuse our love for God with church activity or work.

What are your thoughts and experiences?  I would love to hear from you.

Pure Devotion: Our Need for an Undefiled Love of God!

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Do you ever feel like your heart wanders from God?  I’m not talking about losing faith or walking away from God.  No, I’m talking about the subtle and sometimes painful realization that you just aren’t where you used to be in regards to connection to Jesus and God’s heart.

I know that I have on many occasions felt this way and have wondered “why?”.  This process of disconnection to the one we love most seems to originate in our minds.  Listen to Paul’s concern for the church in Corinth – it’s God’s concern for us today!

2 Corinthians 11:3 But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent’s cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ.

But I am afraid: Paul (primarily God) was concerned about the spiritual condition of the church at Corinth – the purity of their devotion to Jesus.  Likewise, God, right this moment is concerned for my heart… my devotion, or lack thereof, to Him.  No, God does not anxiously “worry” in the human sense, but he does care and anguish over the condition of our hearts and minds.

… that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent’s cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray: Deception is one of the greatest tools of the enemy. Satan knows exactly what works for each and every one of us and he knows that it starts in our minds. He knows that if he can convince us to accept a lie, the battle is half won.

  • Deception begins is in the mind.  “He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”  The enemy will always work to convince you that what God says is really not what He means. The other side of the equation is that our own fleshly desires lead us away from this kind of devotion to Christ (James 1:13-14).  In both cases it’s origin is in the mind, which then infects/pollutes the heart.
  • Think about this:  Eve was in a perfect place (the Garden of Eden), had everything she needed/wanted.  She had a loving husband, the best fruit God had made, a great job (taking care of a cool garden and make babies) and no problems (no sin).  So, what was the problem?  Why did she begin to wander?  It started with a lie, that once accepted by her gave birth to death.

It’s not just bad or overtly sinful things that lead us away from God.  Our enemy will even use “good things” as well as our religion to lead us away from sincere and pure devotion.  Satan will stop at nothing to distract and disconnect you and me from God and his best for our lives.

…from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ.

So what does a sincere and pure devotion to Christ look like? We have to first define what is pure.

Pure Devotion is…

Unadulterated: not mixed or diluted with something else

Uncontaminated: having had no harmful or polluting substances added

Unpolluted: free of contamination, especially by any harmful substances

Untainted: not spoiled or corrupted.

One small impurity causes the whole thing to be tainted or polluted.  Small traces of poison can pollute an entire stream or lake!  Likewise, even the smallest impurities can have extremely negative implications on our lives and thus our relationships with God.

Devotion = undivided and unpolluted worship of God; deep love or commitment (loyalty).  Does that describe your relationship with God?  How would you describe your relationship with God today?  Is it undivided-unpolluted?

To get to this involves removing the impurities that keep us from connecting to God; adding to our lives the needed tools to love God more, with a pure devotion.

So, what are those things in your life that you need to remove and add?

God’s heart has never changed… Just as Adam and Eve were created to walk with God daily, you and I were created to love and worship God. 

Let’s not settle for less then PURE DEVOTION!

The Remedy: Heart & Prayer

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Psalm 66:18 “If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me.”

“My prayer life will never rise above my personal life in Jesus Christ.  If my personal life touches too much of the world, my prayer life suffers (D. Eastman).”

Many of us who sincerely love God and long to experience a vibrant relationship with Him fail to see the connection between the condition of our hearts and our time conversing with our heavenly Father.  Too often these days I find myself overwhelmed, stressed and even fearful at times and yet I still have not fully understood and embraced the power of communion with God as a remedy for all of life’s ailments.

God longs to meet with us and yet if we love this world more then Him there will remain a constant divide of disconnection and missed opportunity.  When I chose to invest in worrying about my life’s circumstances I have made a choice to live by the pattern of this world… I have essentially “regarded iniquity” in my heart.  However, if I regard Christ (in my heart) as all sufficient and as the loving Father that he is, I will find streams of living water through prayer.

Let’s stop for a moment today… be still and know that He is God and that His grace is sufficient for everything in our lives that we will face today and tomorrow.

Squandering Grace. What Has God Purposed In Your Life?

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Have you Squandered God’s grace in your life?

Eph 2:8-10 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

On many occasions I have felt this fearful sense that I have wasted God’s grace in my life.  For many of us, we spend far too many days worried about ourselves… what we want, what we need or what makes us happy (even about what doesn’t make us happy).

All of this time invested is of some earthly value, just as Paul explains in 1 Tim 4:8 regarding physical training (the same could be said for the pursuit of money and success). These things hold some value for this life, but the far greater investment of time and one’s life is our training in godliness (in being and becoming more like Jesus).

It is our great privilege and honor to pursue a higher calling… to not waste the grace that has been so lavishly poured out on our lives.  To waste such grace is an offense to the gospel, to the death of Jesus.

2 Corinthians 6:1 As God’s co-workers we urge you not to receive God’s grace in vain.

The larger context of this passage (2Cor. 5:11 thru 6:2) is a reminder to all of us who have been transformed by God’s grace to share that story through our lives.  As if God was making His appeal to others through us (our story).  In the ways we respond to trails, loss, pain, failures and even through the joys of life.  We are viewed by the God of the universe as His co-workers of grace.  AMAZING!

SO, what has God purposed in you?  What life experiences, trials, pains and joys have you lived for the purpose of some greater good? What story is God sharing in and through you these days for someone’s benefit?

These questions reminded me of a good friend who has turned her loss and need of God’s grace into an opportunity to love and care for others who have gone and will go through similar pain. After losing triplets (yes I said triplets), Sheri has used this terribly painful experience to help others like her who have lost babies and who are are still trying to get pregnant through IVF.

Sheri is an example of a woman of faith who has not squandered grace but who has turned her pain into healing and support.  This doesn’t mean that life gets super easy or the loss is less painful. What it does mean is that people like Sheri who have allowed God to make His appeal of love and grace through sharing her story of pain have and will help countless others find God’s grace.  Please visit and/or share her site with others you know who might be in need of God’s grace.  You can find Sheri at… I’m Gonna Be a What?

It is in our stories of healing that people find healing and in our stories of lost hope found that brings freedom and hope to others.

Don’t squander or waste His Grace and your opportunity to be used!

I would love to hear from you.  What’s your grace story and in what ways is God using you to share His love with others? Leave a comment below or visit the Your Story link to share your story confidentially.

STOP RUNNING… It Could Be Bad For Your Health!

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Running seems to be one of the most popular past times these days ( I would add cycling in that too, especially in Ca).   It seems like everyone is running.  I remember a time before I got married I was running about 5-8 miles every other day.  I think I was mostly running to be in great shape for my wedding (that’s a different post for a another day).

One day it dawned on me that, “I hate running!”  Not only does running take a long time but it also takes a big toll on your body.  Sure my heart was in good shape but my knees and my back hurt like heck and honestly, it’s kind of boring.

However, running is a great metaphor for life, even Jesus used it to describe our lives.

Matthew 6:30-33 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’  For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

“Run after these things…”  It is interesting that Jesus would use this type of language to describe human behavior and our tendency to pursue material and temporal things in this world.  Jesus does validate the “need” when he said, “your heavenly Father knows that you need them.” To deny we need them or that they are of some value is foolish.

So, after validating their humanness he calls them to something better, something of greater value and importance.  By contrast, “run after” the King and the Kingdom and as a result of that pursuit the other things, which you and I need, will be taking care of too.  Wow, what a promise.

There is so many things a run after in this world (some good and some bad).  Here is a short list of what I find myself running after these days:

  • Approval from people (some people who don’t even know or care about me)
  • Success and money. In hopes that people will think I am of value too.
  • Amusement / entertainment.  It helps me forget my pain and disappointments.

Sometimes those things we run after are our attempts to be distracted from what is really going on.  We also run after other things to avoid God and the work He longs to do in our lives.  The work of making us Complete in Him.

What are you running after right now in your life?  What is on your short list?  Not in general (like everyone else) – what is it right now? What is that one thing that is keeping you from running after God and His best for your life?

Christian Spiritual Growth and Transformation

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Christian Spiritual Growth

Ephesians 4:15 “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is Christ.”

What does it really mean for us to “grow up” spiritually and how the heck do we go about doing that?  What is involved with Christian spiritual growth and transformation?  Without over spiritualizing, or over simplifying spiritual growth, here are three observations from Paul’s encouragement to the Christians in Ephesus.

Most of us have heard or have been exposed to the command in Ephesians to “speak the truth love” but we have failed to read, understand and integrate the rest of the verse that says, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is Christ.”

As we speak truth to one another…

I.  We will…  Spiritual Growth and Transformation involves other believers (Eph 4:11-16)

  • Discipleship (Apprentices): The Word of God as our tutor training us in righteousness and truth.  Growth can and does happen in isolation but it is not the way God designed it.  God has called us to invest in others and to allow others to invest in us.  Spiritual growth is a symbiotic relationship that happens with others by God’s grace and Spirit as we read and apply His word to our lives.
  • Community (Accountability and friendships): Participating in the life and vision of the church.  By “church” I do not mean a building with 4 walls but more importantly God’s people pursing God’s purposes together in relationships.  It means that we invest in intentional relationships with the purpose of growing in Christ together.  We allow others to “speak the truth in love” – without this there is truly no spiritual growth.  If I do not allow others to speak into my life I have in essence said, “No” to God speaking into my life.

II. In all things…  Spiritual Growth involves both Spiritual and Emotional growth (v15).

To say that Christian growth is only spiritual is to deny the very essence of who God created us to be and as well who Jesus was – Jesus was fully human and fully God.   We too, created in His image are spiritual, emotional and physical beings.

  • Spiritual:  This involves the development of spiritual disciplines which include, but are not limited to: prayer and Bible study, fasting, solitude, rest and others.  The idea is that we become less dependent upon self and others and more and more dependent upon Jesus.
  • Emotional:  Emotional growth is one of the most neglected areas of a Christians life.  Some Christians view emotional growth as secular or worldly.  Thus, we have “spiritually mature” Christians walking around as emotional infants/children.  We are called to grow up in “all things.” We cannot truly grow spiritually if we remain emotional infants.  Likewise we cannot just grow emotionally without the spiritual growth – they are interdependent.

III. Grow up… True spiritual growth involves Jesus.

To “Grow up in Christ” means that we realize growth involves and revolves around the person and deity of JESUS! If our growth is merely “spiritual” and not Christ likeness then it is fundamentally not Christian and is entirely something else.

If we are simply growing and evolving into more sophisticated and enlightened human beings without God, then its humanism or idolatry.  However, if our growth in and through Jesus causes us to be more fully who we were created to be (intelligent, compassionate etc.) then that is to God’s glory and credit and not of our own doing.

Lastly, I would encourage you (from my personal experience) to involve Jesus in every aspect of growth.  God not only has to be involved, he wants to be involved in our lives.  He will use people, circumstances, and whatever else He needs to cause growth in our lives for our benefit and to His glory.

How have you experienced spiritual growth as a Christian?  Has it involved people? Has it been spiritual and emotional?  I would love to hear from you. Leave a comment, let’s chat!